1) It’s busy napping,
2) It’s finalizing the purrfect plan,
3) Death is imminent, just give it time.
Now, cats are adorable, cuddly little creatures and most of them have hearts full of love. But in the words of the great author Terry Pratchett:
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
There is always a small part of any friendly feline that is willing to set the world on fire if it’s not treated with the respect it so rightfully deserves. You just need to catch them at the right moment to see them mulling over the possibilities.
Need proof? These 70 cats were caught at that moment. And while we can’t read minds, we’re pretty sure it’s not treats these cats are thinking about.
We don’t know what he or she has planned, but we don’t want to stick around and find out.
Then again, it looks like it’s been given more than a few treats to distract it in the past.
Whatever that triangular thing is on the shelf – enjoy picking it up off the floor later.
Alas, he should have known better than to trust the dog to get it. It’s clear that doofus is going to get distracted by the first shiny thing he sees, postponing the plot yet again.
Just take a look at your cat’s face next time it’s high up above you. It’s clearly taking measurements and making mental notes.
Alas, they all have murder deep within.
Humans aren’t smart enough to deciper the plans anyway, so why hide when you’re plotting against them?
It looks like this cat’s list is long – and, alas, you’re still #1.
You thought cats were afraid of water?
Nah, that’s just what they want you to think.
Don’t be fooled by those innocent eyes.
Shouldn’t have moved those blinds, buddy.
At this point, the only thing you can do is move. The house now belongs to him.
And no, you can’t take anything with you.
Just throw the mail, Girl Scout cookies, whatever on the porch and get the hell out of there while you still can.
Even if you live there.
At this point, you can only call your friends and family and say goodbye one last time.
Or maybe stop watching horror movies – it only gives them more ideas!
If you cat starts to gather weapons to use against you, it may be too late to foil the plan. You never know what kind of arsenal they’ve already built up.
We hope this snack/child gets the hint before it’s too late.
Cats can easily use celebrity to extend their destructive reach.
This kitten will look straight into your eyes with its death stare. It dares you to do something about it.
Or perhaps it’s trying to warn its owner about impending doom.
But too late, the cat is closer. Nice knowing you.
Felonious felines already know it’s not going to hold up in a court of law – if you even make it there.
Is there any way to talk a cat out of its plan once it’s reached this stage? No one is alive to answer that question.
This cat’s name is Einstein and he’s not even worried that you found his dark lair because he’s already outsmarted you.
Make sure you’ve put on your full body armor first.
All sentences are death sentences. There is no trial.
That’s why you have to be extra careful when you wake them up.
If they attack without fully formulating their plans you’ll merely be left scarred for life.
And he doesn’t mean that in a friendly way.
The best way to do this is to be the one that encourages the most napping. You DO NOT want to be the photographer who wakes everyone up.
Once a cat has found a space to sleep, you may not move. It doesn’t matter if you need to use the bathroom or your legs are cramping or you have to get up and live your life. Those are not the cat’s problems.
Their feline’s faux pas allowed its owner get an inkling of what it’s up to so they can at least mount a decent defense against the inevitable attack.
In the end, it’s really not about the throne but about defending your territory with honor. But this cat is covering all its bases.
Not only will it have access to far more information that it could have come up with on its own but now it can connect to other cats to form sleeper cells of feline agents that can attack whole cities.
Now we’re doomed.
That is, if you get a second chance.
All cats can and will destroy you, no matter what their color.
It doesn’t matter how many humans are in the house.
You never know when you’re going to look up, down, or sideways and see it staring at you with murder in its eyes.
That’s all part of the psychological warfare the preceeds the physical attack.
Did you think you were smart because all your did was give it a cardboard box to enjoy?
Well, the jokes on you because it’ll murder that too!
Well they can get through them. You can’t.
At least he’ll get a full assessment of his physical capabilities and be able to adjust the plan of attack appropriately.
Now your cat can just wait until you’re in tears and completely vulnerable from your self-imposed tortune.
He doesn’t even have to use much energy to subdue you. In fact, the cat probably won’t even need a nap afterward!