If dogs could talk – what would they say? Probably all sorts of things, right? I mean, they’re already so expressive and have so much personality without even saying a word! A Twitter account called Thoughts of Dog likes to imagine what dogs would say and post it. And they’re definitely spot on.
Here are 60 adorably hilarious thoughts that dogs could share with us if they could.
It’s no wonder this Twitter account has 3.1 million followers!
1) Emotional rollercoaster
The stick dilemma is a very complicated thought process as you can see. It’s an existential crisis.

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2) The fake-out
This dog has caught on to the fake ball throw and has some great advice for other dogs who fall victim to it.

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3) So not okay with that
What do you mean not everyone is going to like me?! I’m a dog!

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4) That amazing paw move
If there’s anything that could ever cheer you up when you’re down – it’s the paw on the the knee.

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5) Road trip!!!!
As long as we’re not going to the vet, we’re just happy to be here!! Dogs love road trips!

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6) It’s a fair trade-off
Of coure, as owners, we’ll happily wipe away those nasty eye boogers. Your love is so very worth it.

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7) We’ll go when I say we’re going
Every dog owner knows the struggle of wrangling up the dog at the dog park. It’s a whole ordeal every time.

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8) As long as your scent is around
Dogs have some very powerful and sensitive noses. So, if they can cuddle up to something that smells like you? It’s heaven!

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9) Such little time
It’s important for us humans to remember that dogs are only here for a short amount of time. So love them every chance you get.

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10) Never give up on your dreams
Just because they begged before and never got a waffle doesn’t mean that it’s off the table for the future! Keep dreaming big, doggos!

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11) The signs of a dog owner
Having dog fur on everything you own just comes with the territory of owning a dog. It’s just how it is.

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12) Solid plan
A party with snacks is like every dog’s dream. Of course, you know they’ll be working the entire room the whole night.

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13) Another solid plan
From end to beginning, this dog’s plan looks pretty dark solid. We think they’ll definitely be winning over the new friend.

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14) Need your attention now!
This dog is very excited and in a hurry to tell you this very important message. Now give him a giant kiss on the nose.

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15) Those tippy-tappin’ feet!
There’s really nothing cuter than a very excited dog who is happy to see you come home. The tail wags so fast it looks like they could take off like a helicopter!

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16) Body confidence
Dogs without their collars are so cute because it really does look like their naked. But really? They’re just a free doggo!

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17) This April Fool’s joke
This is probably the sweetest and best April Fool’s joke we’ve come across yet. It’s always a good day in a pup’s life!

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18) And you don’t want to break the law
Once the dog is inside the suitcase, the deal is done! They’re officially joining you on their trip.

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19) What sandwich?
Look. It’s your fault that you left the sandwich on the counter in the first place. You can’t blame the ever-hungry pooch.

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20) Life is good
So that’s why dogs run in circles and chase their own tail! It all makes so much sense now.

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21) Be proud of what you’ve accomplished
Be grateful and proud of all the accomplishments in your day – no matter how big or small. They’re all significant.

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22) That sweet, sweet crunch
We know that every dog loves to chomp on an ice cube. Why? Because of that amazing and delightful crunch, of course!

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23) It’s all planned out
We dont’ know about you but this sounds like one heck of a dreamy playdate for a dog. Skittle-watching?!

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24) Just here to help!
Dogs only want to be helpful and kind, so whenever an ambulance goes by, they are just trying to make the siren sound louder.

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25) Boom!
That surprise piece of food in the bowl is one of the best things that could ever happen to a dog. It’s the little things in life.

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26) Pancake dreams
So this is why dogs like to pass out right after dinner. They’re just wanting to hurry up and wake up to the next meal!

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27) Soak it up!
Dogs are complete pros when it comes to finding that one patch of sunshine that comes through the trees or in through the windows.
28) An instant mood-booster
A dog in the lap is one of the best medicines in the entire world. And that’s a scientific fact.

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29) The happiest place on earth
The beach is by far the happiest place on earth for pups. They get to run to their heart’s content and feel the freedom of wind through their fur!

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30) Fancy feet
Look, sometimes you just feel fabulous and need to show it. There’s nothing wrong with that.

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31) Living in the present
Sometimes, dogs are great teachers that remind us to live in the moment and stay present. As hard as it may be sometimes.

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32) The third option
Why is it that every dog likes to be half-inside and half-outside with their nose half sniffing the air? Is it for warmth? Safety? Either way, it’s cute.

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33) Works almost every time
No one can resist those adorable puppy dog eyes. This is also another scientifically-proven fact. Movies sound better anyway.

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34) Just gotta double-check
Alright, just because there was someone ringing a doorbell on the TV, doesn’t mean it’s not worth checking our front door too.

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35) Urgent matter here!
Oh thank goodness you’re awake. Now you can take me outside to pee and then feed me immediately!

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36) A slight delay
Just like a child, we will do anything for our fur babies. Including getting out of the car at a stoplight to get a toy they dropped.

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37) The beloved toy
And, of course, if the toy happens to be a beloved belonging, it’s extra worth the struggle. They must love the toy if they don’t completely destroy it!

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38) Hurry home!
We always have to remember that you are the dog’s pack. When their pack is missing…part of them is missing. So, hurry home!

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39) Crowned the king
If a leaf falls on your head when you’re outside, you’re clearly the ‘chosen one’. Own it.

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40) Just a quick snuggle
Sometimes we all need a hug. And that includes doggos. So if you haven’t hugged your dog today, we suggest you do it.

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41) Hardwoods are the enemy
Hardwood floors are a dogs worst enemy. They prevent you from taking hard turns when you’re running, they make it hard to start running in the first place, and even sitting is just hard!

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42) Everything will be alright
When the worst of the worst days ends with a dog in the lap? It really can’t be all that bad. Just take a deep breath and kiss their snoot.

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43) So much pride
Isn’t it so cute when a dog runs around with their favorite toy in their mouth so excited to show it off to everyone in the room?!

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44) Great resolutions
Now these are some resolutions we can get behind. They’re perfectly ‘dog-centric’ and oh-so-cute.

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45) Make it work
No matter what breed or size of dog, they will always be convinced that they can always fit in your lap. And we’re okay with it.

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46) Blankets and everything, please!
Just like us humans, come the winter time, dogs want to be all nice and snuggled up in bed. Throw in an extra little blankie, will ya?

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47) Advanced-level dog
Crunchy leaves are the best. Crunchy leaves in the nighttime when all you can hear is the crunch is even better.

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48) Scary nightmares
When you have a dog, it’s only a natural instinct to comfort them when they start whining or shaking in their sleep. Just one grab of the paw is usually all it takes.

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49) Silly dog antics
We all do strange things sometimes and wonder why we did them. Dogs are not excluded from this.

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50) Not much to ask
Love. That’s it. That’s all dogs really need to be happy. Oh, and food, of course.

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51) That darn skittle
There’s a Skittle underneath the fridge (as mentioned before) and it’s crucial that someone watches it. You know, just in case.

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52) So sorry!
Dogs never mean to hurt us by dropping toys on our feet or butting our heads into their heads when we’re trying to kiss them. Just know that they’re sorry.

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53) Zoolander thoughts
When it comes to a dog’s life? There really isn’t much more they need to do than be cute, cuddly, and loving. That’s what we say.

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54) Never getting out of bed
No one like’s springing their clock forward because we lose an hour of our day. But, hey, at least it stays light later?

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55) Change of heart
I thought I wanted to go outside. But then you opened the door and it was cold and smelled a funny smell. So I changed my mind.

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56) For protection
So, that’s why the toys are always piled up right by the front door so you can step on them right when you walk in. We got it now.

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57) Alllll the sleep
Now when we have to turn our clocks back, on the other hand – that’s something that a doggo can get behind!

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58) Selfie!
Everyone loves a good close-up shot of a doggie face. It makes their sweet snoots look extra long and adorable and their eyes extra big.

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59) They never learn
A dog really should learn that if they fall asleep with their tongue hanging out…it’s bound to be messed with. It’s just too cute!

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60) Skeptical
You can reassure a doggo all you want that the sounds on the roof mean nothing but…they’ll never be fully convinced until it stops.

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Want to read more thoughts that dogs would have if they could talk? Follow the Thoughts of Dog Twitter account.
Source: Twitter