We knew Norway was a hotspot for black metal, we just didn’t know that stuff had permeated the livestock.

Rock on, Betlam!

His hair alone is cooler than most metalheads’ and he doesn’t even need Manic Panic to get that goth look.

He was born metal.

He’s clearly been listening to a lot of Judas Priest.

Otherwise known as the Uroplatus phantasticus, this species of gecko is indigenous to Madagascar.

But don’t worry, you can see it in your nightmares too. No need to travel.

This one looks like he’s got a direct line to the Dark Lord.

This betta fish got it right and looks more metal than his all-black counterparts.

He’s the one who named it “The Satanic cock,” so don’t blame us.

We think that makes the females far more metal if that’s what they’re into.

While they tend not to snap at humans (mostly because we know better than to put our hands near one), they’ll be happy to amputate your finger under the right circumstances.

They don’t even swim around and chomp stuff because they’re so sinister they can just sit and wait to swallow anything that comes by.

Folks metal developed in the 1990s, along with this hairstyle.

If you’re not convinced it’s badass just by looking at it, take note that when you get too close, it’s defense mechanism is to shoot blood out of its eyes. Seriously.

These poodles can have all sorts of unique marks – some grey, black, or brown.

Not all of them look like a puppy that listens to too much Kiss though.

The Lykoi is the product of a genetic mutation that people thought was cool so they decided to breed more and sell them for $2000 (SO NOT metal).

But the cat itself is treasured because it looks like a straight up werewolf.

We get that the name is all about the nose, but its ears are what makes it even more devilish.

Even better, both rams and ewes have horns.

But this one went the extra mile by having what looks like two faces, both with corpse paint.

Pure deathcore.

Even its blood and organs are black!

It’s a metalhead’s perfect good luck charm.

Gothic moths can be black and white, but they rarely have this kind of marking unless they’re truly alternative.

We don’t.

But don’t let those 2 beady eyes fool you – it has more eyes on its head if you look closely!

Alas, they are not harmful to humans – but they might get your heart beating faster if you come face to face with one.

This one happens to have gotten into some flour which makes it look like someone painted a picture of Satan’s cat.

But we can assure you that it’s no more or less evil than any other cat.

Also known as Asio stygius, this owl’s eyes are actually yellow. They just appear red in the sun – thanks, Nature!

Try to run into one at night if possible.

And while this grey one looks more white than anything, one thing is for sure – this shot would make for a majestic metal album cover.

Forget the backup band.

They’ll eventually turn into an equally cool-looking moth that doesn’t just fly away when you approach it but rather shakes fiercely.

Maybe like headbanging?

It also looks like it could destroy you with one look.

It may be a Huntsman spider, according to some commenters, but it’s safe to say it’s a spider to leave the heck alone.

We’re not going to get close enough to measure this guy who is clearly posing for the cover art for his next heavy metal single.

Cue the smoke machine.

Like most metalheads, you can’t judge what’s on the inside by the way they look on the outside.

And like most grownups, the older it gets, the less cool it is.

Seriously Nature, go home, you’re drunk.

They also rub dirt all over themselves to get that rad coloring and look even more badass.

He’s probably pretty nice though if you just ignore the fact that he looks like Satan in goat form.

Lots of people think tarsiers are cute because of their big eyes.

That makes people think about keeping them as pets, which is a terrible idea for many reasons including that they play their Judas Priest albums at full volume all night long.

And by the way they’re staring into our souls, we have the feeling they’re not happy about this whole “lesser” flamingo label.

This one is giving all those grumpy cats a run for their money.

This is why we never look at worker ants up close.

But you would be too if people kept coming in and burning or cutting down your neighborhood.

Which is the main reason we like it.

Seriously, it looks like someone took the leftovers from a bunch of bad ideas and put them on a tiny, fluffy creature.

As far as we know, it’s only been photographed by Dr. Arthur Anker of Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, while in Gran Sabana National Park.

Poodle or not, we would run in the other direction if this thing looked at us.

Was it really necessary to put horns on a spider?!

We have to subtract some badass points for the heart-shaped nose though.

They enjoy snarling and screeching – and to top it off, they smell. And yet some people are still willing to ask Google if they’ll make a good pet.

The fact that it mimics a flower isn’t very metal, but consider the fact that females under stress eat the heads of the males after copulation.

This is quite similar to the creature above but gives you a whole different perspective on how incredibly evil (yet awesome) they can look.

In this case, the rabbit got the black mascara, which can look glam or goth, depending on your perspective.

Make it black and white and we think it makes a great cover for his first metal single.

Its esophagus is lined with sharp spikes that keep jellyfish from slithering out of their mouths while they’re eating them.

Pretty rad – as long as you’re not a jellyfish.

That literally makes it the most “metal” creature.

We’re digging the mohowk, althought that’s more punk than metal.

Do not pet.

He’s just not content to wear color – he’s all darkness all the time.

Can you imagine this thing coming towards you for a deadly game of peek-a-boo?!

Then again, there’s not much it can do to you when you laugh at its name.

It’s a pretty metal investment.