Cats are sassy animals that are full of personality. And because of that, it’s easy to make great jokes about them. And surprisingly, some of the best cat jokes come from vet clinics. These clinics put the jokes on their signs for all to see. If you’re in need of a laugh today, here are 46 of the best cat jokes from vet clinics!
“I don’t wait. I am waited on.”
If dogs can be trained to sit still in front of their dishes until the owner gives the go signal to eat, cats can totally win stare downs and prompt their owners to do what they’re really supposed to do: cater to them.
Because really, who has the time? *rolls eyes*
“Text back? What ever for?” If it were possible for humans and cats to communicate using smartphones, cats would totally just watch the phone ring and resume walking lazily through the house once the ringing stops. As for those text messages… they’re either left unread, read and ignored, or read and deleted. Because cats.
There’s really no one else to take orders from.
The day you adopted was the day you fully succumbed to “cat owner slavery”, the inalterable, non-negotiable type. Frankly speaking, your cat really won’t care if you’re tired or if you lack sleep. “Fill up that bowl. Fetch me that box. Now you may go to bed.”
Flat or round, there would still be a lot of pushing done.
To this day, we still don’t know why pushing things off surfaces brings felines such satisfaction. Could it be the sound the objects make when they hit the ground? Or the triumphant feeling of knowing the hooman would simply walk towards the object to pick it up and put it back where it was? When stuff breaks, they know who to blame anyway. *casually strolls past the innocent dog*
Bend the knee. Now.
These pillow-hogging, object-pushing creatures were thought to be life-saving companions in ancient Egypt. And guess where that brought us? To the beck and call of these majestic creatures, that’s where.
Only the strong survive.
Never will the cat owner that bathes his master be underestimated or scoffed at, ever again. It’s not a question of how the cat took it. It’s a matter of whether or not the hooman survived it.
You do the resolving, hooman.
Because as far as your cat is concerned, there is no need to make room for improvement when perfection has already been attained. Do the words “worship” and “ancient Egypt” ring a bell? Thought so.
Even the fiercest canine knows.
“How to Cat.” There’s not much to it, really. Doggo wants to know how to cat. Approaches feline for tips. Feline takes one look at canine and walks away. Doggo now understands.
“I heard you just fine.”
Ever told a cat not to go on the bed but it refused to listen and even used your pillow? How about threatening to take away its food just to try and get it to follow your instructions? Nice try. Your cat heard you, all right. And you should be glad it had the decency to wait until you were finished talking before it went back to licking its paws and defying all orders. Meow.
All the more reason to worship them, really.
No way are these cats going to tone down the attitude, not after they’ve discovered the power of social media. Who knows? They might have been hamming it up even more this whole time for the views.
Made you look twice, didn’t it?
It’s as wholesome and charming as can be, as opposed to what you initially thought it read. (C’mon. Admit it.) Nothing is as heartwarming as a litter of fuzzy kittens just preparing to conquer the world.
“Spay bells ring, are you listening…”
Cute and catchy, this holiday-themed PSA will definitely get your attention. It’s basically doing your cat, yourself, and the community a favor when you make the decision to have the real master of the house neutered.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Spot on, figuratively and literally. Comical as this is, it has to be the one of the most clever signs yet. Have you ever attempted to usher a cat back in its carrier? Or those backpacks with windows and more than enough ventilation? Not always as easy as they say it is.
A feline framework sounds interesting.
Like boxes, string is a cat magnet. There’s something about seeing a single strand sliding across the floor or bobbing in the air that cats cannot resist. Maybe after a more thorough discussion of this theory, we can finally understand why.
Sorry, not sorry.
Nothing fiercer than being regal and ruthless. Naturally, cats just have to embody both to prove just how superior they really are over all of us. We were never worthy.
Do they really need it, though?
Because one minute, they’re snoozing away somewhere and the next, they’re hightailing it around the house, zipping from room to room. There’s just no telling what a dose of caffeine can do.
A tasteful reminder if there ever was one.
Save yourself the trouble and take the experts’ word for it. Your cat will (actually, won’t, but you get what we’re saying) thank you for it.
And you thought only toddlers had tantrums.
With the kind of personality cats have, we can only imagine the intensity of their tantrums. Think grapes and humans fanning the upset creature perched on top of a cushioned seat. If you think a little coaxing and a lot of affection will do, you’ve got it all wrong.
Such naturals.
Sleep like a baby? More like “sleep like a cat”! Uninterrupted slumber despite noisy surroundings? We’re experiencing major envy by just imagining it.
Enough said.
Cute, short, and straight to the point, we’re loving this sign outside this veterinary hospital. Summed up pretty well, this clever sign is nothing short of convincing.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Basically… cats and carpets don’t always mix. You never know what these ruthless, I’ll-eat-and-do-as-I-please creatures will do next.
Hugs, not drugs!
Just say no, kitty. Help your furry friend make the smart choice. Life is the best source of natural highs, anyway. Talk to your cat today.
You bet they can.
All the more reason for these adorably evil felines to act superior. Seriously, is there anything cats can’t do? All hail!
You’ve cat to be joking.
Cat people just can’t resist these puns, can they? These are pretty funny, but what are the chances that your cat’s probably rolling its eyes at you right now for chuckling?
Here, here!
Doesn’t this sound like the kind of thing they’d raise their paws to? Like something chanted at the end of a meeting about world domination and plotting against humanity.
But it won’t do any adjusting, that’s for sure.
This is ridiculous. Can we customize a door, please? The cat’s getting stressed out about always being on the wrong side of it.
There’s something very wrong with our kind.
“You guys bathe in the shower? With soap and water? Ewwww.” And we thought we were superior. No wonder cats always seem to be looking at us in a certain way.
Paw-sitive vibes only.
Seriously, nothing is as therapeutic as cuddling with a pet. Even if that pet thinks highly of itself and sees you as its slave. It still feels amazing.
You sang it, didn’t you?
What a creative way to remind pet owners of how important spaying and neutering is. Take this piece of advice and watch your cat live a longer, healthier life. It’s beneficial for you, too.
Hear me meow.
Even House Lannister understands why it’s important to spay and neuter. You will do well to follow the example of one of the Great Houses in Westeros, of course.
Did you face palm when you read this?
It does make a cute cat joke – something you’d read on the back of a cereal box. Or a joke you’d make to a kid who would undoubtedly find it hilarious.
The Meowseum of Hiss-purr-y.
Get it? Hiss? Purr? History? No? Okay.
*chuckles politely*
Oh, purr can? Silly me, I thought it was purr litter.
Not that they’d actually join one.
The only racing they do is around the house as they carelessly tear through objects and watch you stare in horror and aghast as item after item falls.
Boy, you weren’t kitten about this one.
Paws-sibly the worst types of joke to make! These cat puns have really got to stop. Fur real.
Dispawsable ones?
Sorry, we couldn’t help it. This does get one thinking. Would a cat stay still for a diaper change, though?
Not a Catillac?
You can just imagine the kind of drivers cats would be. Road rage, anyone?
Let the master show you how it’s done.
Because honestly, who knows best about procrastination than your cat? They aren’t exactly the most active creatures around – one of their many endearing traits.
And an attitude to match.
An alarm clock that carelessly brushes its tail against your face or anything of your possession, takes over your bed and pillows, and meows until you get up to feed it. Purrfect way to start the day!
Laters, baby.
Again, there’s a reason for the emphasis on neutering and spaying. No doubt Christian Grey would probably fund something to convince pet owners to go for it.
Not all cats have happy holidays.
This hilarious sign timed during Christmas is gold. We just love a creative team with a great sense of humor.
Alert the emergency respawnse team, stat!
Nothing your purramedics can’t do! Just say the word and we’ll be there. In exchange for rubs, boxes, and treats, of course.
Now that’s just Riddikulus.
But then again, a particular Transfiguration teacher is an Animagus herself. We’re just not sure how Mrs. Norris would feel about more cats infiltrating Hogwarts, though. Alohomeowra!
A very temperamental mountain.
It’s worth imagining, though! How cute would it be to see a mountain of purring kitties, just waiting to take over the world?
Up to you if you want to call their fluff.
This does leave a pretty picture for cat lovers to imagine, doesn’t it? Unless this was on an episode of Tom & Jerry. We like that the big cats are part of these hilarious signs, too.
Cue back arching and hissing.
If aliens did exist and one attempted to communicate with a cat, it wouldn’t be able to finish a sentence. The cat would definitely have freaked out at the sight of it.
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