Usually, seeing an animal up for adoption is something that sparks sadness in many of us pet lovers.
This is especially the case when the reason for the previous owner needing to give their pet away is something like “kids don’t like him” or “doesn’t get on with my new puppy”.
It’s deeply saddening to know that some cats and dogs end up in the hands of those who aren’t capable of caring for them.
On the other hand, there are some pets that really do push our boundaries.
That’s not to say that you should give up on them straight away. But, as you’ll gather from this story, there are times when enough is enough… and when an adoption ad is surprisingly funny.
You’ve probably never heard a dog referred to as a “haunted victorian child”, but you haven’t met Prancer.
The chihuahua is the pet of unwilling foster owner, Tyfanee Fortuna, who has a fair bit to say about him.
It comes as no surprise, considering Tyfanee has put Prancer up for adoption, that he didn’t manage to fit in with her family (which already consists of multiple cats and dogs, by the way).
In Tyfanee’s case, it’s not about selfishly choosing one pet over another, or simply not knowing how to look after a demanding animal. It’s a case of admitting defeat, having exhausted all options.
Before you hate on Tyfanee for “giving up” on Prancer, remember that she was only ever fostering him.
The role of a dog foster carer is to look after a dog until he’s ready to move into a permanent furever home.
It says something that Tyfanee, an expert in preparing dogs for family life, struggled with Prancer – but her adoption ad clearly explains why.
The post begins:
“Ok, I’ve tried. I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound…palatable. The problem is, he’s just not. There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins.”
A great start – but you can’t help but be intrigued.
Tyfanee goes on to explain how she ended up taking Prancer in.
“Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon egg n cheese stuffed in his crate with him. I should have known in that moment this dog would be a problem. He was owned by an elderly woman who treated him like a human and never socialized him. Sprinkle in a little genetic predisposition for being nervous, and you’ve concocted a neurotic mess, AKA Prancer.”
By this point, you’re laughing, even though you know you shouldn’t. It’s just the imagery of an obese dog in a cashmere sweater… poor guy.
According to Tyfanee, Prancer is “not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child”.
She explains that the chihuahua doesn’t like men (even after living with one for 6 months by this point), shakes up other cats and dogs “like a ragdoll”, makes “demonic noises” at kids, and masks fear as loyalty.
He does have some good points, though: he’s loyal (if not because he’s scared), he’s cute to look at, he’s housebroken, he likes car rides, and he “smiles” when he’s excited.
Tyfanee is convinced that this pup does have a good future ahead of him – as long as it’s with women.
Lesbian couples, single women living alone, and moms and daughters should all love Prancer. He’s not a lost cause, and Tyfanee’s ad cleverly makes you warm to him even while being wary of his “demonic” side.
The ad paid off, too, and Stephanie Pearl, a representative for Second Chance Pet Adoption League, said to TODAY that they have had inquiries nationwide, but are looking for a local adopter who can first meet with him and form a connection.
While Tyfanee might call him a “haunted Victorian child in the body of a small dog that hates men and children”, she clearly loves the little guy deep down, and you know she’ll miss him when he’s gone.
You have to check out her full hilarious Facebook post here.
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